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The End - 07-11-04
Shapes for Patience - 05-05-04
Because Because Because Because Because - 04-14-04
Best Personality Test Ever - 03-29-04
Frame 2 - 03-17-04

Revenge of OctaJesus

10-11-03 - 4:44 a.m.

Here I am, not updating, because I don't have anything to write. There I am awake in bed, not updating, because every moment can be viewed with reference to Diaryland if Diaryland can be viewed with reference to any moment. That's the reciprocitous nature of reality and Diaryland is at a key vortex with respect to reality. It's like someone took Jung's collective unconscious and made it textually manifest and conscious to the last painstaking itinerary detail, for all to glory in wonderment at our connection to universal themes involving boyfriends and girlfriends and isolation and shopping, all the while luring the best of us into a hyper-self-conscious performance before a miniscule audience of painstaking writing exercises that lead to the displaying of increasingly recognizable encores. Except for three of you.

I still remember my infancy here, when it was easy to prattle on for hours, when most of my entries had a scroll bar, because I hadn't done it before, hadn't done it much before, hadn't done it too much, and I was interested in my stats and the diaries which list you as a favorite diary link, and in my youthful zeal I had the strength to read all 352 previous entries in any diary that listed me, but back in those days you had to alternate between the "older" page and each entry you wanted to read because there was an error that made the "next entry" button take you to the most recent entry. Remember? And most of you still had the default layout you chose when you started your diary. Think of the background color of the first layout you had, take the square of factoral n where n is the number of letters in the name of that color, and subtract the alphanumeric value (a = 1, b = 2) of the third letter in the name of that color spelled backwards, times six, and that will reveal which Star Trek captain you are. Which Star Trek captain are you? You are Captain Spock, who betrayed Captain Kirk by volunteering him for a mission as ambassador to the Klingons in Star Trek 6. You repress your emotions, and on the surface you're cruel and calculating. What are you doing in the 21st century, Spock, and why are you reading this diary, of all diaries? It won't help you return to your time, and the influence you've exerted on my page views counter may have changed the course of future history forever. Damn you!

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Fiction: Ye Most Lamentable Comedy of Dr. John Doe Faustus


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